Dubious Desire Ch. 02

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CONTENT WARNING.

This is NOT a romantic read. It contains dubious consent and touches on themes of submission and control.

Also, a big thank you to everyone for the wonderful comments and advice so far. I really do appreciate it.

*****

Christmas Eve

Click. Click. Click.

Keegan pressed the mouse button attached to his computer scrolling through the internet for some decent porn. He had thought after popping his cherry he wouldn’t need to rely on porn quite so much, that maybe his thirst for visual stimulation would be lowered. He had been wrong. He still thrived on seedy sex sites just as much as he did before becoming a man.

It had been three weeks since Keegan lost his virginity to a supposedly straight man and joined the club. If Damon had been straight before that night in the cabin, he couldn’t claim to be entirely so now. Not after the way Keegan had fucked him so intrusively; spilling raw passion between the sheets in the form of sex sweat and sticky cum.

Keegan found the whole thing almost contradictory. It felt like he had become a man while making Damon somehow less of one. The nature of their hook up was dubious to say the least. There was no denying that Keegan had tricked Damon into doing it. He had been like a sexual monster in virgin’s clothing. What had started as innocent questions, soon morphed into curious physical exploring leading to Damon’s face buried in a pillow with his arse up in the air, waiting to be taken… hard.

The pairing was all sorts of wrong. Keegan was barely eighteen and Damon was thirty-seven. Admittedly, Damon looked young and hot for his age. Oddly, Keegan had never known just how dick-stiffening attractive this man really was until that fateful night. His gym-chiselled chest, short brown hair and moss-green eyes all combined to give him a beauty not many of God’s creatures could claim.

What made it particularly bad wasn’t the age-gap but who Damon was—which perhaps explained why Keegan had never viewed him in a sexual light. He was Keegan’s father’s best mate. Matthew Andrews and Damon Harris had been best friends for twenty years and while Keegan had grown up barely seeing his globetrotting father, he had grown to know Damon very well. Damon would swoop into town every few months to check how Keegan and his mum were doing. It was like Damon’s job to turn up and remind Keegan how awesome his busy and selfish father was.

Secretly Keegan was relieved that his father didn’t visit. His reception would not be a warm one. Keegan’s mum tolerated her ex but Keegan’s grandparents were not fond at all of anyone from the Andrews family who they openly referred to as being “basic.”

Damon’s routine visits through the years made him a sort of surrogate uncle. It was this role—and his status as a close family friend—that made what they did together so scandalous. Still, none of that took away just how damn hot it had been using Damon and treating him dismissively.

As Keegan now sat at home in his bedroom, half-heartedly looking for porn, he felt a shiver tap his spine as he remembered how brutal he had been. He had shown Damon no mercy in the cabin that night by the lake. On a small rickety bed, he had peeled away Damon’s clothes and dignity, layer by layer, until the man was left naked and without pride. The whole ordeal had been unflinching and raw with carnal wanting. It wasn’t love. It was fucking. Pure undiluted fucking.

Keegan was shocked by his own actions and how ruthless he could be in that moment. That moment where his cock did all the thinking and showed him how capable he was of being commanding and in charge. But the most shocking part of the experience wasn’t his self-discovery for sadistic tastes but Damon’s acceptance of submission. After all the wriggling, reluctance and gritted teeth, Damon let go of his body and had submitted to what was being done to him; gasping in pleasure, wanting more, begging to be made an example of.

Keegan had obliged. He wanted nothing more than to teach the older womanizer a lesson. The man who paraded as a surrogate uncle figure, always claiming to be Keegan’s mate, deserved all of it. He had needed to pay for what he had done.

The night before the cabin trip had been Keegan’s eighteenth birthday party. It was supposed to have been one of the defining nights of his life when his girlfriend Tess said she would be giving him the best present of all. Sex! But it wasn’t to be. In the middle of the chaotic evening Keegan had lost sight of Tess, only to find her later hidden in the shadows hooking up with Damon. Keegan hadn’t said anything. He had run off in shock before they spotted him.

He had planned to try and block out the scummy betrayal. Pretend it never happened. He loathed conflict and he did not see how he could bring up what he had witnessed without causing some sort of major drama. He probably could have erased it from his memory eventually had he not woken up the next day to be hijacked with a boy’s weekend away. As part of his birthday present, Damon was taking escort bayan him away to stay at the Lakes Forest Park. Just the two of them.

Driving for miles only to be cooped up in a small cabin with the same man who had just fucked his girlfriend felt more like a punishment than a birthday present. Being stuck in the middle of nowhere with the arrogant prick proved too much. Keegan’s emotions were so freshly bruised from what Damon had done that he let his mind go to some dark places and those places were what set the whole event in motion.

Later that evening when Damon crawled into bed, half-naked and drunk, Keegan’s dubious desire came out to play and make Damon pay for robbing him of his first-time. If Keegan couldn’t have Tess then Damon’s arse would have to fulfil the cherry popping honour.

As great as it had felt reducing Damon to little more than a fuck-hole, Keegan didn’t expect what came after he came. The guilt. An avalanche of the ghastly emotion seized him immediately once he ejaculated in the condom buried deep inside Damon’s arse. Keegan began to cry. Regardless of what Damon had done, it didn’t seem to warrant this. It didn’t matter how Damon had seemingly enjoyed it…eventually. That didn’t stop Keegan feeling like he was a monster. A monster who had gone too far.

Damon had heard his crying and was like a fucking knight in shining armour to the rescue, he made Keegan hop back in the same bed and he cuddled him, kissing him, telling him it was all okay. He assured Keegan we all make mistakes. The tenderness of their bodies wrapped together was oddly healing and it did help Keegan calm down enough to fall asleep beside Damon’s warm body.

He spotted an enticing video at the bottom of the screen. GAY DOM FUCKS SUB. This was his new porn preference. He had always had a tendency to watch BDSM videos but now it was exclusively gay content. No more hetero sites, just full on same-sex fucking and sadistic attitudes.

Before sleeping with Damon, Keegan had been confused. Unsure what he was or what he wanted. He had been dating Tess for two years while also carrying lecherous thoughts for his best mate, Liam; the black-haired, blue eyed stud whose every inch of his five-feet-eleven height was a thing of pure beauty. Keegan hadn’t been sure just what the feelings were about—until Damon.

Admittedly, he would jack off every day thinking about what Liam’s cock would taste and feel like in his mouth, but he wasn’t convinced these queer feelings were real. It was probably just some weird phase that would pass. He didn’t want to be any different from his mates. But now Keegan knew he was different. He wasn’t the same as his mates. Thanks to Damon, answers were given and secrets had been made between the sheets. He didn’t want others knowing this side of himself existed. That this was who he was.

Only Damon knows my secret, Keegan told himself.

The video loaded up. Its stars were two smooth-looking twinks. One blond, one ginger. He felt a bit vain admiring the blond boy who bore more than a little resemblance to Keegan with his pretty face, olive skin and slim frame. The boy’s large cock even looked the same—eight inches of thick flesh.

The ginger boy was tied to a tree, his face grinding against the bark while his smooth back and arse were left exposed. The blond boy tickled him, taunting his ginger lover with threats about how hard he was going to fuck him against the rough surface of the tree. Keegan grabbed hold of his dick, groping it to life. He imagined himself in his doppelganger’s shoes, taking charge and having his wicked way. Keegan briefly wondered if the two boys would feel as weird after fucking as he had with Damon. They at least had the luxury of being on a film set and could walk away after somebody shouted “cut.” That hadn’t been the case for Keegan and Damon.

When Keegan had woken the next morning in the cabin it had reeked of sex. A strong, stuffy smell that was quite unlike anything he had inhaled before. He slipped Damon’s draped arm free of his naked body and rolled out of bed. Damon’s snoring told him his surrogate uncle was well and truly locked in slumber. Keegan stepped over the used rubber on the floor and quietly got dressed, letting his first-time sleep in. Closing the cabin door gently behind him, Keegan had gone for a walk around the lake, trying to clear away some of his still-lingering guilt. With traces of spunk still glued to his skin, Keegan had felt like a murderer with blood on his hands.

By the time he had returned to the cabin, Damon was awake and sitting having a coffee at the small table beside the kitchenette. Fiddly small chat ensued but to Keegan’s relief—and immense gratitude—Damon didn’t mention any of what had transpired between them. Try as they might to act normal, it didn’t work. The small chat never went beyond tricky short sentences like, “Nice day outside by the looks.”

Keegan’s anger with Damon had vanished for what he had done with Tess. The older man had earnt his forgiveness. But sex had caused a new kind of rift. An awkwardness Keegan had never experienced. He had known this man his whole life but the moment he breached the friction of Damon’s arsehole had made them become strangers.

After Damon finished his coffee he asked if Keegan fancied going home a day early. He answered “Yes” in a heartbeat. The relief on Damon’s face was palpable. Keegan assumed that Damon feared his arse being on the block for a second night in a row if they stayed. They packed up their belongings at lightning-speed and jumped in Damon’s car to come home. The whole way Keegan sat in the passenger seat in complete silence. They didn’t look each other in the eye. As Damon dropped him off outside his house they still didn’t say a word. They swapped knowing glances at one another. A look that translated so clearly it didn’t need subtitles; we will NEVER speak of this!

Keegan was getting close to reaching his climax, his hand slipping up and down his spit-lubed rod at a furious pace. The blond boy had slapped the ginger lad’s arse so hard his cheeks were redder than his hair and now his arse was being fucked with vicious intent. Keegan’s mouth creaked out saggy gasps as he was about to spurt his load.

Screeeeeeeeech. The high-pitched noise of his mum’s car tires told Keegan she was home.

He let go of his cock.

Annoyed at being robbed of an orgasm, Keegan slipped his erection back under his pants and shut the porn off, willing his cock to go down. He quickly brought up a clean google page just as his mum’s footsteps sounded down the hallway’s wooden floor.

A soft tap emitted from behind his door and his mother asked, “Is it okay if I come in?”

Keegan faked a laugh. “Yes, Mum. I ain’t cutting up the bodies of my victims.”

His mother opened the door and poked her head in. She had just gone and had herself a haircut. She walked in, smiling, waiting for some sort of compliment at how amazing her hairdo looked. “What do you think?” she asked, touching the side of her freshly-dyed and barely chopped hair.

“It looks really nice,” Keegan said, despite hardly noticing a difference. Her hair still hung just past her shoulders and the colour she had gotten was the same colour she always got. A sort of honey blonde that was her natural hair colour—the same as Keegan’s.

“Thank you, darling.” She narrowed her eyes, trying to make out what was on his computer screen. “What are you looking up?” she blurted. She went and stood beside him with an almost whimsical look on her pretty face.

Keegan shuffled his seat closer to the desk so his pointed crotch would be hidden. “Oh, nothing. I was just about to look up some of the courses at Auckland Uni,” he lied.

“Yes. You’re running out of time, Keegan. You need to hurry up and make up your mind. If you’re not going off to study, then you’ll need to start looking for work if you plan on staying around here and getting a flat in town.”

Keegan frowned. “What makes you think I’ll go flatting?”

“Wouldn’t you want to? I assumed you and Liam would go find a flat together,” she said, tugging on her hair. “You don’t want to stay at home living with me, surely.”

“You sound like you want to get rid of me.”

“Not at all, darling. You’re welcome to stay as long as you like. I just know that when I turned eighteen I couldn’t wait to get away from the nest and be independent.” She stepped over to his bedroom window, inspecting the overgrown backyard and changed the topic, “I don’t suppose you could mow the lawns for me today, could you?”

“I thought you had decided to pay someone to mow them?”

“That was when I thought you were fully decided on moving to Auckland to study. Why waste my money when my big strong son can mow them for me?” His mother flashed him a cheeky smile.

Keegan rolled his eyes as he gripped hold of one of his tanned biceps on show in the loose singlet he was wearing. “I don’t think my skinny arms count as big and strong.”

“Maybe not,” his mother sighed. “But your labour is free.”

“Okay. But I am going to visit Liam soon and when I come back I’ll mow them.”

“Thank you.” Keegan’s mother looked delighted to hear that the jungle of a lawn would finally be taken care of. “It will be nice to have outside looking good for when Damon arrives this evening.”

“Damon,” Keegan replied in a shrill voice. “What’s he doing coming here.”

“It’s Christmas Eve. You know he comes for Christmas most years.” She narrowed her eyes, furrowing her brow.

“But why this year?”

“I know you find him annoying but do try to be nice,” his mother soothed. “He does try his best by you. Remember how generous he was for your birthday giving you what he did.”

“Sorry,” Keegan said, jolted by his mother’s sentence. “What do you mean?”

She gave him a funny look. “The money he gave you. That was very generous of him so do try to be nice. He may give you some more for Christmas.”

“Oh, yeah.” Keegan rested back into his seat, calming down his minds worry that his mother knew their secret.

“Anyway, I’m going to go put up this pesky Christmas tree.”

“Christmas is tomorrow. Why bother.” Keegan laughed.

“Because Santa won’t bring your presents if he doesn’t see the tree up.”

“We can’t have that can we,” Keegan said sarcastically.

“Anyway, if you hear me scream and a loud crashing sound then that will be the tree and the raggedy old angel falling down on top of me.”

“The angel isn’t raggedy,” Keegan said defensively on behalf of the angel that felt like a family heirloom.

“Maybe if you had bothered to help me put the tree up in the last five years, you’d know that she looks like she’s been getting chemotherapy.”

Keegan laughed then asked reluctantly, “Would you like me to come help?”

“No, it’s fine. You can be spared Christmas tree duty if you promise to have those lawns mowed before Damon gets here.” She gave him the sternest look she knew how, which wasn’t all that stern.

“Consider it done.” Keegan nodded.

“Thank you, darling. Now I’ll leave you to get back to researching university.” His mother chuckled. “And don’t worry I will stomp loudly if I have to come ask for any help. I know how much boys like to be left alone when ‘researching’ their future.”

“You’re so embarrassing. I am not looking at anything like what you’re suggesting.”

“That’s good. I would hate to have a blind son with incredibly hairy palms.” His mother laughed and walked away.

Keegan rolled his eyes. He may have found his mother’s pathetic attempt at humour funny had he not been shocked by the announcement Damon was arriving.

“Fuck,” Keegan mumbled to himself as he gripped his stubborn erection in his pants. Instinctively he knew that Damon’s visit was going to be every bit as hard as what was in his hand.

*************************

The sun beat down mercilessly on Keegan’s shirtless body as he pushed the mower over the untamed lawn in the backyard. The grass was thick, messy and a dirty-green colour, cutting it short resembled shaving Oscar the Grouch. Amidst the screaming throttling of the mower, nothing could come close to drowning out the filthy thoughts in his head about Liam. Keegan’s best mate and secret crush.

His quick visit to Liam’s earlier had been worth the effort. When he had arrived, he found the dark-haired stud in his bedroom wearing nothing but a pair of baggy shorts. Liam had been on the floor doing push ups, one aspect of his daily workouts that he did religiously to gift him such a hot body. He had been all sweaty from his summer work out and Keegan had wanted nothing more than to lick the glistening sweat from his chest. He didn’t care that he was sweaty, he knew someone like Liam would taste great clean or filthy.

Unfortunately, Liam’s big brother Joel had come home unexpectedly, demanding Liam go help him with moving furniture. Liam apologised to Keegan and did his brotherly duty by going and helping Joel collect his crap, cutting Keegan’s visit and eye-ogling short. The older Corrigan brother had just been kicked out of his flat, following a dispute about not pulling his weight with house chores. It seemed a stupidly small thing to be kicked out of a house for, but Keegan knew that the arrogant Joel would have been a nightmare to live with and the flatmates probably used dirty dishes as an excuse to get rid of him.

In Keegan’s fantasies Liam’s cock always spurt thick white streams of spunk… usually all over his face. He imagined the crown of his mate’s dick to be thick and glistening, a beautiful member worthy of being attached to a king. A king who could surge pleasure like a cresting wave and ravish the shoreline of Keegan’s body. A king who could fuck, and be fucked, like a monster. The daydream was intoxicating, so much so that he could feel the tip of his dick leaking drops of precum from the anticipation. He knew that as soon as he finished the lawns the first thing he would be doing was have a shower and taking care of the rigid need within his pants.

Just as Keegan spun the mower around at the final strip of shaggy lawn, he lifted his chin and saw his mother standing on the deck, holding a glass of wine. She waved her free arm excitedly, a large smile painted across her face. Keegan wondered the reason for her looking so happy, then he saw the reason appear behind her. His throat tightened.

Damon!

The sweat on his body tuned cold at the sight of the man who had claimed his virginity. Damon stood stoically, his arms folded, wearing a pair of white shorts and a black polo shirt. His eyes were shielded behind a pair of black shades and his tanned strong limbs almost glimmered in the sunlight. His dark-brown hair was cut shorter than normal, making him look even better in Keegan’s opinion.

The deed they had done had gifted Keegan x-ray vision and he looked over knowing exactly what Damon’s body looked like under the clothes. He bit down on his lip, trying to shake away the image of Damon’s dick, which he knew hung slightly to the left when soft. Keegan turned the mower off and dropped to a squatting position pretending to tie up his shoe laces so he could hide his Liam fueled erection.

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